If you have not yet mentioned divorce, make copies of all financial records prior to announcing you want a divorce. After you separate from your spouse, it might make sense to open a new bank account in your name only for your payment to be deposited. Keep all separate earnings separate. Change all passwords on important accounts. Scan or make copies of important financial records, tax returns for the last 5 years and any records of property or investments made during the marriage. Scan or make copies of important records showing that property/investments were purchased during marriage or after separation with separate property earnings. Scan or make copies of any records showing property you inherited before, during, or after marriage. If you or your partner has already filed for divorce, pay attention to the automatic restraining orders on the summons and do not violate them. If your ex-partner/spouse is lying about money, earnings, business matters, or community finances, let your lawyer know immediately.

While the list of documents you might need for a child custody or child support case is large, here are a few places to start: Gather records for monthly expenses such as childcare, tuition, and other school costs, extracurricular activities, medical care, insurance, food, entertainment, tutors, etc. Scan or make copies of all records. Remember your child(ren) are both of you – if you criticize the other parent in front of the child, you are criticizing the child. Document and gather evidence if the other parent has health/sobriety/other issues impairing their ability to keep children safe in their care.

First and foremost, you can only control your own behavior. Divorce can be an incredibly difficult and emotional process, but there are certain things you can do to start off on the right foot: Change your private email/personal cell phone password(s) so you can be assured of privacy when speaking with your attorney. Avoid posting photographs of yourself with new girlfriends or boyfriends on social media until your divorce is final and all issues have been resolved. If your spouse isn’t cooperating with honoring schedules, being evasive regarding communication/responses, or being combative toward you or your children, log all dates and detail behavior. Be prepared to “be the bigger person” for the sake of your own sanity and for your kids. Save all emails and texts. It is always preferable to speak with your partner in writing once the process has begun. Exercise, try yoga, meditation, hiking, or just going for a walk on the beach. Get outside and experience nature. If possible or available to you, find a therapist who specializes in divorce/custody situations. Join organized activities, volunteer, or take up something you always wanted to do. Remember, divorce is a grieving process. You are likely to be emotional, and your judgment may be impaired. Be gentle with yourself, get enough rest, and eat nourishing food. Reach out if you need help.

Domestic violence is abuse or threats of abuse when the person being abused and the abuser are or have been in an intimate relationship (married or domestic partners, are dating or used to date, live or lived together, or have a child together). It is also when the abused person and the abusive person are closely related by blood or by marriage. The domestic violence laws say “abuse” is: Physically hurting or trying to hurt someone, intentionally or recklessly; Sexual assault or coercive sexual behavior; Making someone reasonably afraid that they or someone else are about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone); OR Behavior like harassing, stalking, threatening, or hitting someone; disturbing someone’s peace; or destroying someone’s personal property. Abuse is not just hitting. Abuse can be kicking, shoving, pushing, pulling hair, throwing things, scaring or following you, or keeping you from freely coming and going. It can even include physical abuse of the family pets. Unwanted touching can be abuse. Throwing a glass at a person during an argument can be abuse. Jabbing your finger in a person’s chest to make a point can be abuse. Slamming a door in someone’s face can be abuse. Showing up at a person’s home without warning or consent can be considered abuse. Grabbing a person’s phone from them can be considered domestic violence. Keep in mind that the abuse in domestic violence does not have to be physical. Abuse can be verbal (spoken), emotional, or psychological. You do not have to be physically hit to be abused. Often, abuse takes many forms, and abusers use a combination of tactics to control and have power over the person being abused. Repeated phone calls can be considered abuse. Incessant text messaging can be considered abuse. In one example, a mother received a five-year DV restraining order only because of her repeated text messages. Threatening to send embarrassing photos or emails to third parties can be considered abuse. Even using a person’s password to read their emails or text messages can be abuse. Further, you cannot audio or video record another person without their knowledge! If you are being abused in any way, it is essential that you speak with legal counsel and law enforcement. Both being the victim of domestic violence or a perpetrator of domestic violence can have serious negative consequences on both your family law matter and your life.

Because each case is unique, there is absolutely no way to know from the outset how much a case might cost. Wolman Law does not provide any guarantees of costs under any circumstances. While an attorney might provide a guess based on past, similar cases, this guess is not a ceiling, and your case might cost quite a bit more—or less—than an initial estimate.

A forensic accountant, for the purposes of family law litigation, is a trained expert who can assist in determining (among other things) how assets and debts should be characterized, what the marital standard of living might be for the purposes of spousal support, and what business expenses/deductions are appropriate in child support matters. Forensic accountants can be useful for both trial and mediation settings. Unlike standard accountants, they are readily familiar with litigation and have extensive experience testify as an expert witness in family law trials. Forensic accountants are not employed by Wolman Law directly. Instead, they work independently and require a separate retainer from Wolman Law. If you think you might want or need a forensic accountant, speak to the attorney handling your matter.